The Power of Having a Supportive Co-Parent

Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we're writing about how a co-parent has or has not supported us in our dedication to natural parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Before I got pregnant with Zoë, Brian and I didn’t talk too much about parenting styles or expectations. We talked about the basics, but didn’t get too in depth about our expectations. After I got pregnant, we started talking and researching more, but still didn’t know completely what to expect. It’s hard to know exactly how you’re going to deal with a situation until it’s in front of you.

Luckily, over time our parenting style developed naturally and, for the most part, we are always on the same page. Brian has been on board with all of the natural parenting choices that we have made. I can’t imagine being married to someone who wasn’t supportive of those choices.

We made our first natural parenting choice very early in the pregnancy – not to vaccinate. We got a lot of pressure and questions from family and friends about this decision, but we stood strong together. It was that decision that really drove me into research mode on everything related to children and parenting.

After doing a lot of research during my pregnancy, I made the decision to exclusively breastfeed, get into babywearing and use biodegradable diapers, BPA free plastic products and non-toxic baby care products. Of course there are always bumps in the road, but that was the general direction I wanted to go in. Brian was very supportive of all of those choices.

So much so, that for the first few months, there were times when we would bicker about who would get to wear Zoë when we were out. He liked wearing her as much as I did, and still wears her frequently in our Kelty Carrier.

One thing we didn’t plan on, but fell into naturally, was co-sleeping. Zoë slept better (hence I slept better) and it made breastfeeding easier. I was really worried that Brian wouldn’t be happy about having the baby in our bed. But he was completely supportive and, even now, loves having Zoë in our bed with us. I think co-sleeping has made our family closer.

Now we’re expecting baby #2 to arrive any day, and we plan to follow the same natural parenting principles that we followed with Zoë. Our parenting style has worked well for us and has helped us become a very close family. It doesn’t matter if anyone else supports my parenting decisions, because my husband does. I’m grateful to be married to such a supportive man.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated Feb. 9 with all the carnival links, and all links should be active by noon EST. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.)

• A Thank You to my Husband — Lactating Girl at The Adventures of Lactating Girl thanks her husband for keeping her grounded and giving her unwavering support in the face of discouragement from within and without. (@lactatinggirl)
• My Reverse Traditional Husband In the Wild — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries gives us a lesson on how dads in the wild parent their young. Can you guess which male animal actually nurses its young? (@babydust)
• February Carnival of Natural Parenting — TopHat at The Bee in Your Bonnet tells us how the patience of a partner can make a difficult breastfeeding relationship succeed. (@TopHat8855)
• Parenting Together — For Alison at BluebirdMama and her husband, parenting is simply an extension of the way they live. (@childbearing)
• If We Had A MIllion Dollars — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! and her husband would both agree to be crunchier parents if they had a million dollars to ease the way. (@bfmom)
• February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Co-Parents — Dionna at Code Name: Mama has written a letter to her husband, thanking him for his incredible support in every aspect of their natural parenting journey. (@CodeNameMama)
• Natural Parenting Fathers — Sarah at Natural Parenting is balancing being all there for her son with being present for her husband. (@considereden)
• Just Wonderful: Love and Partners and Natural Parenting — Zoey at Good Goog let her husband lead her to babywearing and cosleeping. (@zoeyspeak)
• All that stuff I don't get comes so easy to him — The Grumbles is taking this opportunity to say thank you to her husband for his mad parenting skills. (@thegrumbles)
• The Power of Having a Supportive Co-Parent — Chrystal at Happy Mothering and her husband started with vaccinations and moved on from there. (@HappyMothering)
• February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners — Lauren at Hobo Mama makes do with babbling incoherently about how her husband practices natural parenting in such an effortless fashion, with bonus video. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Love and Partners — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog shares her husband's moving account of her birth story, and his testament to the power of a woman. (@myzerowaste)
• labor support... — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children is thankful that her partner has provided her immeasurable labor support through each of their last three unassisted homebirths (and will again for their upcoming fourth!).
• What co-parent? On prams, routines, ideals, sickness, and finding my way alone. — Ruth at Look Left of the Pleiades describes life without a present co-parent: making new choices and taking care of things herself. (@brightravenmum)
• Parenting With Support — How many people can say that their husband talked them into cloth diapering? Darcel at The Mahogany Way can! (@MahoganyWayMama)
• Co-Parenting Support — Summer at Mama2Mama Tips knows the importance of being supported in the face of criticism. (@mama2mamatips)
• Natural Parenting Carnival: Love and Partners — pchanner at A Mom's Fresh Start has been blessed with an incredibly involved partner. Her husband loves to take part in every aspect of parenting! (@pchanner)
• Daddy's Little Girls — Kate Wicker at Momopoly finds her husband right at home in a tangle of girls. (@Momopoly)
• How do I love my parenting partner? Let me count the ways. — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker is thankful that she and her partner co-parent fluidly and gracefully. (@mamamilkers)
• Interview with a Daddy — NavelgazingBajan brings us a highly amusing peek into her husband's perspective.
• Being Supported in Natural Parenting — Sarah at OneStarryNight has witnessed both ends of the parenting spectrum, and is grateful she found a father who is comfortable with natural parenting. (@starrymom)
• Moments in time: a love letter — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick will make you cry with the beautiful way she describes the complete relationship between father and child. (@RaisingBoychick)
• Natural parenting converts — Jen at Recovering Procrastinator brought her reluctant husband around to cloth diapers, bed sharing, and time-ins as a discipline method. (@jenwestpfahl)
• Breastfeeding Father — Amber Strocel at Strocel.com describes how her husband helped her overcome the breastfeeding challenges she encountered with her premature daughter. (@AmberStrocel)
• A Natural Parenting Village — Acacia from Art, Body & Soul, in a guest post for Jamie at Suddenly Stay at Home, broadens the term "coparents" to embrace supportive extended family on both sides. (@SuddnlyStyAtHme)
• A Natural Dad — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest doesn't have a husband who merely supports her — she has a husband just as dedicated to natural parenting as she is.
• Love and Support From My (sometimes pantsless) Man — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma describes life with the sometimes bumbling but always lovable Pantsless Man. (@kitchenwitch)
• G-O-T-E-A-M! — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile made sure her future husband agreed with her parenting choices early in their dating. (@tisworthwhile)
• how we come to parenthood — Michelle at womanseekingmother dances with her husband around the subject of cosleeping. (@seekingmother)

Comments

[Lauren @ Hobo Mama]

I'm encouraged by how you and your husband stand together as a team. I think that's the most important thing in a relationship! Especially when you're doing things that are considered unconventional, having someone in your corner makes all the difference.

[Dionna @ Code Name: Mama]

Vaccinations were part of the reason I learned so much about NP before Kieran was born. It always makes me feel more confident knowing that research backs up our parenting choices!

[Mimi]

You are both outstanding parents and I'm very proud of you.

[Your husband]

Thank you babe... I love you too...

[Sara Broers]

Your post as a team in parenting is something that all parents should read. Just having someone that you can work with is such a supportive role in parenting. Parents all do things that work best for them. Sure looks like you have found what works best for you and your family.

[AmberS]

Being on the same page with your partner is so helpful, it really is. When you have each other's backs, who even cares what anyone else thinks?

And congratulations on baby #2! It is a big change, but so, so sweet. :)

[michelle]

It's amazing that you fell naturally into co-sleeping and natural parenting. It is natural and yet there isn't always a lot of support for it and sometimes partners don't feel comfortable with full integration as a family. Your husband sounds like he will always be one to go with the flow to meet your needs and the needs of your children. Good luck with baby number two. You are blessed.

[HappyMothering]

Thank you everyone for the kind comments. I am lucky to have a supportive husband because it makes parenting so much easier!

[Darcel]

Love this! As long as you two support each other, that really is all that matters.

[Sarah]

Co-sleeping rocks, especially with supportive husbands! Keep us updated about how it goes with two little ones. I'm excited for you! :)