The midlife transition is the perfect time to evaluate if you're on the right life path and course correct if you're not. Can we agree mid-life doesn't have to be madness?
Let’s do a little word association for a minute. If I say the word “midlife,” what word comes to mind first?
If you’re like most people, the word you instantly think of is “crisis.”
It’s something we as humans dread, and as a society we mock. I believe that’s because we simply don’t understand it.
Most of the time when we mock something in life, it’s simply because there is a lack of understanding somewhere. The midlife crisis is no different.
At 40, I have finished going through my own midlife transition. It was tumultuous and emotional, and so rewarding in the end when I finally leaned into it.
During that time, I did a lot of research on what people go through during that time in life and I heard stories from one woman after another. That’s when it all clicked for me.
The midlife crisis is simply a life transition, just like any other transition we make throughout our lives. It’s supposed to be a time to do a gut check. To see if you’re still on the right path in life for you.
Unfortunately, it has become a time when we mock people and make fun of them for waking up. For questioning their life choices and wondering if maybe they need to make a path adjustment.
Why are we doing that?
Why are we making fun of them instead of supporting their quest for their personal truth? The more I think about it, the more it makes absolutely no sense to me.
The world is in a dire place. People are sick. People are sad. People are sorry. And most of all, people are angry and fearful.
I feel so much anger and fear around me all the time. So much unhappiness and dis-ease.
As an empath, all of this negative energy affects me so deeply! I literally feel the pain around me, and I know I’m not the only one.
I have been wracking my brain for a few years now about how I can help to transmute all of that negative energy into something positive. We all have that one little area of focus that really lights us up and get us excited.
I have discovered for me – that’s supporting women through the midlife transition. Giving them the tools they need to know they're going to be okay as they walk through it. And giving them the encouragement they need to pursue their own dreams no matter what.
When does the midlife transition happen?
Most people go through this stage in their mid-thirties (sometimes a few years earlier or later) and it takes a few years for you to complete it. That’s because it’s a process of self-exploration.
I believe we should all be turning inside at that point in life and asking ourselves what we’re doing and if we’re on the right path.
If the answer is yes, amazing. Keep at it.
If the answer is no, it’s time to make a change. And that’s okay.
Is there support for change?
Unfortunately, that’s where the problem really comes in with our culture. So many people feel the answer “no” when they ask themselves that question, and they don’t know what to do about it because no one around them understands.
When they say they hate their high-paid corporate job they worked so hard to earn, people ask what they have to complain about.
When they want to blow their savings on their big dream, people urge them to reconsider.
When they say they can no longer tolerate an unhappy marriage, people say they failed.
When they say they want to leave their stable job with benefits to start a company, people scoff.
When they want to sell off everything they own and go live abroad, people fear for them.
We all have our unique dreams inside. Only you know what yours is.
Because of the lack of support and understanding, far too many people give up on their most precious dreams. They resign themselves to a life of unhappiness because it seems easier than being judged.
They just keep doing what they’re doing, never even starting to pursue their dream.
What would happen if we supported the people closest to us during this time instead of mocking them? What if we gave them everything they needed to go after that dream?
I truly believe we need more dreamers. More innovators. More people free to explore the next stage in our society’s development.
We are never going to move forward without those innovators. How many of them are being held back because of a fear of judgement? A fear of being different? How many of them would make a huge difference in our world if simply given a little support?
The next time you sense someone close to you is going through the midlife transition, lean in to supporting them. Listen to them. Be there for them. Encourage them to make the change that is going to make their life. Help them see how they can make it happen.
If you’re going through the midlife transition yourself, it’s okay! It’s exciting because it’s an opportunity to explore who you are at your deepest depths and come out of the process as your true self.
Take a deep breath and lean into it. Take more time to meditate. Take more time to write. Take more time to explore who you are. Take more time to listen to your intuition.
Your intuition really is one of the most powerful things you have. They don’t call it women’s intuition for no reason!
The difference between happiness and unhappiness is literally the equivalent of the difference between life and death. Living a life of unhappiness truly can affect your health that much!
The midlife transition is our best opportunity to course correct when we’ve gone in the wrong direction. If we all work to support each other, midlife won’t have to be madness. Will you join me?